A Full Circle Reflection

A Full Circle Reflection

I know that I have promised a reflection on my recent encounters with nature but this one is more significant and poignant for me so the other one will have to wait.

Twenty four years ago my sweet, three year old, daughter began gaining her independence and identity at a local Montessori School. The school was located just on the other side of downtown from where we live. Although lost in a dark cloud for a long time, I have fond memories of my quiet strolls to the school in the afternoon and the more boisterous walks back home with Nicole skipping, waling along the top of stone retaining walls and chattering to me about her day. At the end of our season with the school there was trauma for our family and specifically for me, for her it was a beautiful journey where she built some of her most wonderful childhood memories. She came to love the husband and wife who ran the school, and were her first non-family teachers. As my friendship with the owner/administrators blossomed into my first career interest, Nicole spent time in their home as well as the school. None-the-less that season did end in heartbreak. Three years into a treasured career path, I walked away when my relationship with administration crumbled into ashes. One of the biggest heartaches at the end of that season was when I took my children out of their beloved school. The heartache connected to the end of that journey has been an ever present burden in my life for decades now, sometimes a heavy one and sometimes a minor one. There have been times that simply driving past the location has laid a temporary sadness on me. But, fortunately, life goes on.

Fast forward to this time last year. My daughter and her children faced many barriers to finding their feet in the upheaval of their lives. After a short stint living a couple of streets away in April 2014 they have come back to live in our home. Emotions and stresses are high. Fortunately for our finances, I have a position as lead toddler teacher at another Montessori School in a neighboring town. This opportunity answered a longing in my heart that I had carried since the heartache of decades before. Now a year later I can say that the year has been hard, both at the school and at home, but there has also been much good that has come from this part of the journey. Not only have I had the joy of watching my daughter find her ground, finish her initial degree, land her first nursing position while being a mother to her three boys, I have had healing of my own. This time I have chosen to walk away, without trauma, without heartache, without regret, from a Montessori career. Although I have chosen to return to my profession as a nanny, I am leaving with a full heart, good friends and wonderful memories. Little did I know that I would also leave this position with a healed heart. It is amazing to me the good memories from my initial Montessori season from decades prior that have come back to me as this healing has taken place. I am now able to close this chapter of my life on favorable terms.

A side story to this reflection, which does tie into the main story, is my recent decision to also step away from my beloved First Christian Church where I have been a part of the fellowship, worship, ministry and leadership for almost thirty years. I am currently attending a small, relatively newly planted, church, New Day Community Church. This diverse faith family is lead by my neighbor, Bob Kjelland. Bob was completing his MDiv at Asbury Seminary while I was completing my BS at Asbury College. He and I had multiple, thought provoking and challenging, conversation about faith, theology and scripture as we studied and wrote our way through our schooling. However, as this is a side story, possibly to be developed more fully at another time, let’s just say that I took this step outside my comfort zone in response to a prompting I felt from God through a sequence of events. It has been a good step with some wonderful outcomes already. For now Phil, Nicole and the boys remain at FCC and I am still in very good relationship with my FCC family. I sometimes feel like I have been sent out to this church plant, especially after the women I have ministered with in Women’s Ministry at FCC laid hands on me, praying and anointing me with their tears of support as I headed off into this new faith adventure. For now I am practicing my Mary skills (Luke 10:38 and following) after many years of loving being a Martha. I am sure I will add some Martha back in at some point, it is my nature & nurture, but for now I am resting and being. I have been, and continue to be deeply blessed in my faith journey.

Now to tie these pieces all together. The women’s life group I am a part of at New Day share our concerns, burden’s, and such, every week when we gather together. This group includes, in part, my dear neighbor, Kim Kjelland and Tricia Kittinger, a lovely lady I have been acquainted with for years but who is now becoming a friend. These two women have shown such precious, prayerful and action filled,  concern for Nicole in her current journey. One of the prayer concerns I brought to this group was for an affordable home in a safe location for Nicole to start over in with her boys. Tricia contacted me toward the end of May to let me know that her cousin had an such a house in a reasonable location that would be available the first of July. Low and behold, it is the very house on beside the old Montessori school, right next to where Nicole took her first big steps of independence as a child.  At this same location, resonating with fond childhood memories, she will now start a new journey of hard fought for independence as a young, single woman, mother and nurse. A year ago I would have found it difficult to even visit her at that location. Now I have joyfully stood beside her as she signed her rental agreement. I have played with her children in the very big back yard. I have watched her kids climb around on the very same play structure that their mother learned to cross the monkey bars on decades ago. I am glad to report that the structure is still very solid and will be a great fort for the boys, complete with fire pole, tire ladder, hooks for a swing and, of course, the monkey bars on which to build childhood memories. Now to just cut it out from the significant overgrowth that has grown up around it.

I know some of you do not believe that God engages our life journey in such ways, but I do, even though like most children, I lose track of his hand on my life, especially when things aren’t going my way. Over the past year I have experienced so much that has led to making me, not just open to, but feeling blessed about this house being a place for Nicole to launch into this new season of her life. I believe that God's handwriting is all over this. He doesn't move on our time schedule but, in his knowledge of the bigger picture, he moves at the right time, I am not naive, I know there will be tough times ahead but right now I feel a little like I am looking at a promised land and I am grateful, for the decades in the desert as well as the current land of milk and honey (even though I know there will be cows to kick us and bees to sting us).

Enjoy the pictures. Sorry some of them are a bit fuzzy; my cell phone camera is not the best. Now that she has a house to make into a home, please keep in mind, that for reasons that make no sense to me at this point, she has very few material goods to start over. If you have items that might help her get started again, let us know. We will try to find a way to transport them this direction.

                                       The House

 

Complete with white, picket, fence

                     
       and a large, fenced, backyard for boys and dog

View from one of the back doors

More than big enough for Frisbee, or maybe a trampoline!

She is going to love being able to play with her boys!

 plus a fabulous jungle gym

Just like the bars at Ella Canavan, where I spun around on the crook of my knee then dropped onto the ground, splitting my lip wide open on the gravel below. Still have the piece of gravel in my lip. Glad this is over grass! Just have to cut away the overgrowth.

We have a slide that will replace the climbing ladder.

Yep, it is a double decker fort

                                                     with...
the very same monkey bars their momma learned to cross as a child.

Dylan's feet actually reached the ground. We had to prompt him to bend his knees.

Conner went across like he had done it before; which, to the best of our knowledge, he hasn't

The look on that face says it all. He can, however, now hang  for a moment without assistance while contemplate trying to get to the next rung

Yep - she's  still got it!

Always good when there are cool bugs in  a boy's back yard; especially when spotted on Nana's back

Bonus'!

There is a small playground down the street and, we have learned, at least three houses nearby with school age children, including a young  family from FCC.

There is a, separately fenced-in, patio ready to house one of our two grills and a couple of inexpensive, patio, chairs.

 

Great sunlight but I am thinking a shade umbrella might be nice at some point

as seen (above) from the room (below) that will serve as a dining room/ children's activity room

The floor has a textured paint designed to cover old linoleum

 

which is a step down from her kitchen (with pantry)

The year old fridge is directly across the room from the

 

sink

 

The pantry is narrow but runs the length of the wall behind the stove and base cabinet. The year old, gas,  furnace, plus water heater are in the same closet.

and leads to another step down to her large laundry/mud room and out to the, privacy fenced, patio.

Love that tangerine orange paint, really, I do!

Upon entering the front door there is a somewhat open floor plan starting with a large living room.

lots of natural lighting in the living room

The picture of the living room (above) was taken from the door way of, what will be, Dylan and Luke's bedroom (below). Their room, complete with glow in the dark ceiling stars, is a step down from the living room. It is a 'bonus' room because, according to real estate laws, without a built-in closet, it can't be identified as a bedroom. They will have one of our large, cedar closets to use. We won't need it, saying as we are gaining back two bedroom closets. It should provide enough space when with combined with the bunk bed w/two built in chest of drawers and a desk that was given to her by family friends.

Yep, the light turns on with a ceiling chain-but hey there is central AC so pull that chain.

The kitchen is through a wide entryway from the living room and there is a long hallway that runs along the side of the kitchen opposite the dining/activity room. Down that hallway is Conner's bedroom (below), the very large bathroom and Nicole's bedroom.

Upon hearing that he would have his own bedroom Conner said, with a wide grin on his face, "move in some toys"

Although there is only one bathroom, it felt spacious with all six of us standing inside the room. I think she will adjust just fine, despite the lack of another toilet!

The bathtub is across from the double sink and has a convenient shelf attached

Nicole's bedroom spans the back of the house and has a ceiling fan,  large closet plus a utility closet

This side of the room will be her home office/homework space and, although it doesn't show, there is a door directly to the large, fenced backyard.